In reading this it brought back sweet memories of my own parents and my mother in her mink stole. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story of Christmas past.
What an amazing story. No mink coat in my family but lots of memories of receiving gifts even tho' my parents were not even middle class. Just good working folks!
I too inherited an early-60s mink stole from my mother. I recall her enjoying it, but my memory is far from certain. Anyway, being committed to animal protection (and a big fan of animal-loving Anglican priest Andrew Linzey!), I hoped I could find a way to bring some sort of benefit for animals out of the cruel exploitation and slaughter that all those poor minks were made to undergo back then. The recommended solution, I learned, is to donate the stole to an organization that turns it into baby blankets for orphaned baby mammals -- so that's what I did. And I have no doubt my mother would have found that quite satisfactory.
My sister and I had teddy bears made out of mom's mink jacket. They will eventually go to my nieces. Maybe there is someone in your area who does that if you decide you want to do it.
My mink story is not as fraught--has mostly happier emotions. After my aunt died my cousin gave me her mink wrap--pushed it on me, actually. It was so elegant, with a big collar that you could make stand up in a head-framing way, like Madelyn Kahn wore in Young Frankenstein. I felt gorgeous in it but knew I'd never wear it. After it hung in my closet for awhile, it came to me that Western Washington University drama dept might be interested in having it. Subsequently it featured in a humorous production of "The 39 Steps" at the Mount Baker Theater and the fur on the actress (with long cigarette holder) made the cover of the weekend arts magazine. So I was able to share my aunt's elegant taste with the whole town!
Thank you for this reflection: "even the sad memories form who we are, and...we learn to hold them all." I hold sad memories from some long ago Christmases as well as some more recent, so I try to walk slowly through this season holding the sadness but trying to keep room for joy, as well.
Thanks so much for this post, Diana. I have a similar story, not regarding fur, but one where I was the giver of the unwanted gift. It was for me another signpost on the path to ending my first marriage. I’ve written about it elsewhere, so no need for details, just to say the episode is seared in my memory.
I "wonder" if your dear Mom's tearful response was possibly related to family finances? Maybe they agreed things were tight, and there were other things she wanted for the family or the kids, which were important to her,...important to her as a mother and a woman. Maybe the extravagant gift, instead of making her feel pampered, feminine, sexy, and loved, it made her feel selfish. Maybe also that her husband just did not understand what was really important to her.
Her husband didn't listen to her real needs and give her the simple gift she asked for, but spent a huge sum of money on her and that just made her feel selfish. I wonder?
Painful memories. My mother was killed in an auto accident in October. At Christmas we discovered she had bought and wrapped some Christmas presents for us and hidden them for opening in December. She was with us in spirit as we saw her gifts, filled with a fresh reminder of grief, knowing she could not be there with us for that. You have brought up the power of the whole gamut of feelings related to Christmas. Joy, laugher, tears, uncertainty, grief, promises of the future all mingled together like the gifts under the tree. I always remember that most people have similar experiences buried under the tree as well. Thanks for sharing the mink.
Funny but when my 99-year-old dad died this Spring my wife, my sister, my brother-in-law and I cleaned out the house. Upstairs in the cedar closet was a stole--the kind with the foxes head. I remember my mother, who died in 1998, wearing that stole. There was also a (I guess) mink coat that belonged to my aunt, my father's sister. I don't remember *anyone* wearing that coat, nor do I have any idea how it got there. It's now in my garage while I figure out what to do with it. Sign.
I have the same mink in my closet in the same garment bag. Shortly before my mom died she told me she wanted me to have her mink. Not being a mink kind of person I suggested she give it to someone else. She was offended. I really believe she wanted me to have it because I would cherish the memories that came with it. There were not tears when she unwrapped it but some how a new knowing that she was loved. It was not something that was often recognizable in my parents relationship. My father was not much of a gift giver but this Christmas there was something that glowed in his heart from this expression of love. Thank you for the sweet memories of a Christmas long ago that hang in my front hall closet.
In reading this it brought back sweet memories of my own parents and my mother in her mink stole. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story of Christmas past.
What an amazing story. No mink coat in my family but lots of memories of receiving gifts even tho' my parents were not even middle class. Just good working folks!
I too inherited an early-60s mink stole from my mother. I recall her enjoying it, but my memory is far from certain. Anyway, being committed to animal protection (and a big fan of animal-loving Anglican priest Andrew Linzey!), I hoped I could find a way to bring some sort of benefit for animals out of the cruel exploitation and slaughter that all those poor minks were made to undergo back then. The recommended solution, I learned, is to donate the stole to an organization that turns it into baby blankets for orphaned baby mammals -- so that's what I did. And I have no doubt my mother would have found that quite satisfactory.
My sister and I had teddy bears made out of mom's mink jacket. They will eventually go to my nieces. Maybe there is someone in your area who does that if you decide you want to do it.
My mink story is not as fraught--has mostly happier emotions. After my aunt died my cousin gave me her mink wrap--pushed it on me, actually. It was so elegant, with a big collar that you could make stand up in a head-framing way, like Madelyn Kahn wore in Young Frankenstein. I felt gorgeous in it but knew I'd never wear it. After it hung in my closet for awhile, it came to me that Western Washington University drama dept might be interested in having it. Subsequently it featured in a humorous production of "The 39 Steps" at the Mount Baker Theater and the fur on the actress (with long cigarette holder) made the cover of the weekend arts magazine. So I was able to share my aunt's elegant taste with the whole town!
Thank you for this reflection: "even the sad memories form who we are, and...we learn to hold them all." I hold sad memories from some long ago Christmases as well as some more recent, so I try to walk slowly through this season holding the sadness but trying to keep room for joy, as well.
Thanks so much for this post, Diana. I have a similar story, not regarding fur, but one where I was the giver of the unwanted gift. It was for me another signpost on the path to ending my first marriage. I’ve written about it elsewhere, so no need for details, just to say the episode is seared in my memory.
I "wonder" if your dear Mom's tearful response was possibly related to family finances? Maybe they agreed things were tight, and there were other things she wanted for the family or the kids, which were important to her,...important to her as a mother and a woman. Maybe the extravagant gift, instead of making her feel pampered, feminine, sexy, and loved, it made her feel selfish. Maybe also that her husband just did not understand what was really important to her.
Her husband didn't listen to her real needs and give her the simple gift she asked for, but spent a huge sum of money on her and that just made her feel selfish. I wonder?
Painful memories. My mother was killed in an auto accident in October. At Christmas we discovered she had bought and wrapped some Christmas presents for us and hidden them for opening in December. She was with us in spirit as we saw her gifts, filled with a fresh reminder of grief, knowing she could not be there with us for that. You have brought up the power of the whole gamut of feelings related to Christmas. Joy, laugher, tears, uncertainty, grief, promises of the future all mingled together like the gifts under the tree. I always remember that most people have similar experiences buried under the tree as well. Thanks for sharing the mink.
Thank you for bringing back memories of my mom in her mink stole.
Funny but when my 99-year-old dad died this Spring my wife, my sister, my brother-in-law and I cleaned out the house. Upstairs in the cedar closet was a stole--the kind with the foxes head. I remember my mother, who died in 1998, wearing that stole. There was also a (I guess) mink coat that belonged to my aunt, my father's sister. I don't remember *anyone* wearing that coat, nor do I have any idea how it got there. It's now in my garage while I figure out what to do with it. Sign.
I have the same mink in my closet in the same garment bag. Shortly before my mom died she told me she wanted me to have her mink. Not being a mink kind of person I suggested she give it to someone else. She was offended. I really believe she wanted me to have it because I would cherish the memories that came with it. There were not tears when she unwrapped it but some how a new knowing that she was loved. It was not something that was often recognizable in my parents relationship. My father was not much of a gift giver but this Christmas there was something that glowed in his heart from this expression of love. Thank you for the sweet memories of a Christmas long ago that hang in my front hall closet.