When Gratitude Eludes Us
Choose it anyway
A version of this prayer first appeared in my book, Grateful, in 2018 and has been adapted and widely shared ever since.
We’ve used it for our family Thanksgivings as “circle” prayer, having each guest read a graph as we go around the table. A number of clergy-friends have used it in their Thanksgiving liturgies as either the prayers of the people, responsive readings, or at some other point in the service. Please use it as you like. You can include it in your church bulletin. Just give the appropriate credit to me as its author.
A Thanksgiving Prayer: We Choose Gratitude
Adapted from Grateful: The Subversive Power of Giving Thanks
by Diana Butler Bass
GOD, there are many days we do not feel grateful.
When we are anxious or angry. When we feel alone. When we do not understand what is happening in the world or with our neighbors. When the news is bleak and confusing. When there are threats, injustice, violence, and war.
We struggle to feel grateful.
But this Thanksgiving, we choose gratitude.
We choose to accept life as a gift from you, and as a gift from the unfolding work of all creation.
We choose to be grateful for the earth from which our food comes; for the water that gives life; and for the air we all breathe.
We choose to thank our ancestors, those who came before us, for their stories and struggles; we will learn from their mistakes and receive their wise choices as a continuing gift for today.
We choose to see our families and friends with new eyes, accepting them for who they are.
We are thankful for our homes, whether humble or grand.
We choose to appreciate and care for our neighbors whatever our differences or how much we feel hurt or misunderstood by them.
We choose to open our hearts to those who dwell among us in the shadows of uncertainty and fear, recognizing their full dignity and humanity.
We choose to see the world as our shared commons, our home now and the legacy we will leave for generations to come.
This Thanksgiving, we do not give thanks. We choose it.
We make this choice of thanks with courage, knowing that it is humbling to say “thank you.”
We open ourselves to your generosity, aware that we live in a circle of gratitude. We all are guests at your table around which gifts are passed and received.
We will not let anything opposed to love take over this table.
We embrace grace, love, and the gifts of life at this table. In this choosing, and in the sharing of this meal. We are strengthened to pass gratitude on to the world.
Thus, with you God [name the sacred as is your tradition: Lord, Wisdom, Presence, Parent], with all those gathered here, and with those at tables far distant, we pledge to make thanks.
We ask you to strengthen us in this resolve.
Here, now, and into the future. Around our family table. Around the table of our nation. Around the table of the earth.
We choose thanks. Amen.
Thanksgiving is the best time to say thank you.
It has been a very hard year in so many ways. I’m grateful to you all for being here, for strengthening my courage, and for being brave yourselves! None of us imagined the shock and pain of these months as our world unfurled in ways no one ever thought possible. And yet, we’ve stayed together, learned together, cheered each other on, and supported each other as we are able through this online community.
I’ve done my best to speak truth, share both joy and anger, and persist in love and justice as embodied in Jesus’ story and teachings. At a time when much of American Christianity has given itself over to cruelty and greed, I’ve learned that going deeper into the wisdom of Jesus grounds, inspires, and empowers me (and us) toward faith, hope, and love. Going deeper in the story has helped me.
I hope it has encouraged you, too.
I’m grateful for and to you. Happy Thanksgiving.
Love relentlessly,
Diana
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INSPIRATION
one hand opens in grief
the other in gratitude
pressing them together to pray
— Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “One on Thanksgiving”
These, too, are your family,
any who whirl slurs,
any who would build a wall,
any who would throw a stone.
The other is your sister,
your brother, your mother.
Pick up any stones
that have been thrown
and build fire circles
where everyone’s voice
can be heard.
Tear down the walls
and use the debris
to build bridges.
Tattoo these words
on your hands,
on your tongue:
we are all in this
together.
— Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “Letter to Our Children”
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer is one of the presenters this coming January at the Southern Lights Conference. There are still a few in-person tickets. You can also attend virtually. Please click the link HERE for more information and registration.
There’s a lovely Thanksgiving essay in A Beautiful Year. Those pages are the only reflection in the book not based specifically on the Christian calendar. Read it this week. And get ready for Advent.




I am so thankful for your writings during this difficult and confusing time. You help me to understand what I’m feeling and give me hope.
Thank you for a beautiful Thanksgiving prayer. Yes, gratefulness is what we should strive for everyday and especially during the holidays.