TODAY’S Advent Calendar shares a personal memory from Christmas 2016, an episode that occurred while I was writing Grateful. When opening presents that morning, I never imagined that a gift from my daughter would wind up in the book!
This post is excerpted from Grateful.
Window 14
Gifts elicit gratitude. We like gifts. We respond to gifts.
I cannot think of gifts without thinking of Christmas. Over the years, people have given me gifts that I have forgotten, gifts I have treasured, gifts that I did not particularly appreciate, and gifts that brought forth deep gratitude. One Christmas, my daughter pulled a large box from under the tree and placed it in front of me. “Go ahead,” she said, with a hint of excitement, “Open it, please.”
Off came the paper and the lid, and inside the big box were five smaller packages. Each one had been carefully wrapped, and each bore a message that twinned with gifts of chocolate, tea, and coffee. When read together, each gift contributed to a larger message: “Times are ‘dark’ (for dark chocolate), so we need someone who is ‘counter culture’ (a coffee) and full of ‘wisdom’ (a tea) to preserve the ‘longevity’ (a tea again) of the ‘world’ (another chocolate).”
She knew that the recent presidential election had upset me – and she knew that I was working on a book that I hoped would make a difference. She did not simply give me things I liked from the grocery store. Her gift to me that morning was encouragement. Looking at the box, with all its thoughtfully created packages, wrapped with creativity and care, I knew that she – my young-adult daughter – believed in me. I had not always been certain she understood my work. But she did, perhaps even more than I knew. Small joy-tears formed. I managed to choke out, “Thank you.”
She reached toward me, I reached back, and we hugged. No gift was more urgently needed or so meaningful. . . Her gift of “I believe in you” welled up surprise, delight, appreciation, and courage – a most welcome, emotional experience of gratitude.
From Grateful: The Transformative Power of Giving Thanks
My daughter made drawings with the pens you sent,
line drawings that suggest the things they represent,
different from any drawings she — at ten — had done,
closer to real art, implying what the mind fills in.
For her mother she made a flower fragile on its stem;
for me, a lion, calm, contained, but not a handsome one.
She drew a lion for me once before, on a get-well card,
and wrote I must be brave even when it’s hard.
Such love is healing — as you know, my friend,
especially when it comes unbidden from our children
despite the flaws they see so vividly in us.
Who can love you as your child does? . . .
— Michael Ryan
Give a gift of The Cottage!
The Cottage ADVENT CALENDAR is free and open to all. If you feel called to financially contribute to this work, there are two ways to support The Cottage this December.
If you give a year gift subscription during December, you will receive a copy of my book Grateful in token of my appreciation (this offer is only good for books that can be delivered to US addresses).
During this entire month, 25% of ALL paid subscriptions (gifts, first time subscriptions, and upgrades) will go to support Rising Hope, a local ministry in my Alexandria neighborhood (about two miles from my house!) that serves immigrants, low-income families, the food insecure, and those without shelter. They are an amazing community - one of genuine courage and compassion.
What you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.
— Hans Urs von Balthasar
An Advent Event
Shane Claiborne has picked Freeing Jesus as the December book of the Red Letter Christian Book Club! Read the book and join us in conversation via ZOOM on December 19 at 7pm. This is a free event. Click here for the sign-up link.
PLEASE REMEMBER the people who have suffered great losses in the tornado outbreak in the mid-south, especially those in Kentucky, the state with the greatest loss of life. Hold them in prayer. And please donate to your denominational relief agency or other groups with strong local ties. If you are aware of a trustworthy effort in the area, feel free to list it in the comment section below. Also, please list any personal prayer requests you may have — for family or friends, for church or faith communities, for any connections you have to those in the impacted areas — that those of us here at the Cottage can lift up these concerns.
Thank you. It is always so wonderful when we see our children and grandchildren show us that they understand us and provide encouragement.
You can donate through the United Methodist Disaster Relief fund in Tennessee-Western Kentucky at https://twkumc.org/disaster-response/. Contributions go 100% to those affected. Thank you for the reminder of those who are suffering.